Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Dark Knight Breaks $300,000,000 Record

Batman is kicking some serious ass right now. First the box office, then Christian Bale's mom and sis and now the IMDB Top 250 films.

The Dark Knight has broken another box office record by passing the $300 million mark in just 10 days, beating the previous record holder Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest's gross of $300 mil in 16 days. That's an entire week people!!

In edition to that IMDB has voted The Dark Knight as #1 in their top 250 films of all time. Surpassing cinema greats like Shawshank Redemption and the previous #1 The Godfather. Lets see how long they can hold on up there since Godfather fanatics are starting a petition to put Godfather back at #1.

A lot of speculation about Daniel Day-Lewis or Johnny Depp replacing Heath Ledger as The Joker. Now I like both these guys but I really hope they honor Heath's last completed performance and just leave it as it is and move on to something else.
There's also speculations about The Riddler being in the third one because of the appearance of Mister Reese (the accountant who tried to expose Batman on TV and cost Bruce Wayne a Lamborghini) in The Dark Knight. Get it? Mister Reese/Mysteries. But I don't think it's true cause The Riddler's real name is Edward Nigma.
Of course there's the rumor about Philip Seymour Hoffman being The Penguin. But I don't think he'll do it cause he's just too damn cool to do a comic book movie.

We'll just have to wait and see I guess.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Prom Night: Review

This film is bullshit. I actually enjoyed watching those kids die. I'll be even happier watching the filmmakers die in real life.
Prom Night is a remake of a 1980's slasher film whereby there's this girl who has a teacher that's obsessed with her to the point where he kills her whole family to get to her.So he goes to jail and escapes 3 years later to finish the job when she's on her prom night.
Any movie that has Johnathon Schaech as a bad guy is automatically a piece of shit film. I am a huge fan of this guy, he was in one of the greatest undiscovered films of the 21st Century, Sea of Dreams. And now here he is playing a psycho killer who I'm not even scared of and quite honestly.. I'm actually rooting for the killer.
Did they really expect me to like the main character of this movie? These people are some of the most obnoxious teenagers ever. They're the kind of people who bullied me in high school. And here they are going to prom in their limousine all dressed  in their expensive designer gowns and jewelery. I hated these characters. So when Johnathon Schaech kills Jessica Stoup.. I just went, " GHEAH!"
And we have Brittany Snow from Hairspray who's playing this girl who is apparently so beautiful that Johnathon Schaech kills her entire family just to get to her. I mean, Brittany Snow is hot and all, but I'm looking at her and I'm thinking ain't no one is ever going to kill for this piece of ass. hell no ones even going to stop playing World of Warcraft to take her shopping. They really expect me to believe that this girl is worth dying for? Bullshit.
And whats up with all the police in this film? They have gotta be the dumbest police I have ever seen. I mean, there are practically hundreds of them swarming this hotel looking for the killer and he is able to get out scott free and not a single one of them notices at all.But then again, it is Johnathon Schaech and he is awesomeness!
And for a slasher film, there isn't much slashing in this. We see the killer like stabbing people and slashing them ans stuff but there is hardy any blood and most of the violent parts happened off screen. And when they finally find the bodies, they have like small little paper cuts smeared with some tomato sauce. It was like watching Final Destination without all the violence and gore. Borefest!
What they should have done is make a slasher film where we have Johnathon Schaech going around with a killer tiara and start stabbing girls in the eyeballs and slashing the boys in the nuts. Now that would be a good movie!

RATING: 3/10

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Dark Knight: Review

Every now and then, there will come films that redefine cinematic experience. The reason movies are what they are now compared to movies in the past are because of these films. The Dark Knight is possibly the first since a long time. Sorry if I sound so serious cause it's just...OMG I seriously can't believe this film!
Storytelling brilliance doesn't get any better than this. First let me talk about the film quality. 6 scenes were shot in IMAX. If you don't know what that is, IMAX is the highest resolution of video any movie can achieve at this present time. So just imagine that much adrenaline rush jumping out in giant images from the screen.
Second is the story. The movie does run a bit long (2 hrs 30mins) and in that time, every possible lead character (even the small leads) gets broken down and stripped to bare wood in the movie. That's the difference between Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3. Spiddey had just as much characters as The Dark Knight. But they looked like they were there just for the sake of being there.
In The Dark Knight, every character's sub-story was utilized to create the master story and it all flowed so smoothly towards the end when all the character's stories combine into one heartbreaking finale. Seriously, how does Christopher Nolan even think up something so genius. But of course we have to remember that this is the guy who directed Momento, Insomnia, and The Prestige. This guy is just incapable of making a bad movie (you hear that Freidberg and Seltzer? Learn from this guy)
The Joker. I think we all have already heard how great Heath was in the movie and let me just say I really really want him to get an Oscar. Not because he's dead but because it's deserving. At times you just forget that that was Heath Ledger even after all that buzz and hype that surrounded him and The Joker. You don't even remember how he looks like anymore when you watch The Joker. He simply disappeared in the role. Heath almost makes Jack Nicholson's Joker look pathetic. He plays The Joker so devilishly and twisted. This guy isn't that flamboyant clown we see in the cartoon Batmans. This guy is sick.
He doesn't exactly kill people. He simply puts them in psychological situations where they have to kill each other to survive......and just sits back and enjoy himself. Testing people's morality and sanity. Most of the time in the movie, you really worry for the safety of the main characters. That's how crazy Heath Ledger's performance was.
Sometime for people like me, we see good performances and say" Hmm thats good acting" and start analyzing their overall character and shit. I know..I have no life. But when I watched Dark Knight..GAWD I didn't even have time to do all that because Heath Ledger just hooks you in and puts you through psychological hell. At times you'll say "Oh My God Heath Ledger I love you but please....Batman just kill him, I can't take it anymore."
Harvey Dent is second best performance in the movie. You really like this guy. And it's hard to like him because we all know he's gonna become Two Face and he's the guy f*cking Batman's girlfriend. Harvey Dent is suppose to be a bitch. But Aaron Eckhart plays him so innocently and so upright that you just can't help but love this character. At one point, I didn't want Harvey to become Two Face, which makes it even more heartbreaking when he does. It hits you on a more emotional level because you become attached to him. It's like witnessing a loved one's death on screen. Seriously Chris Nolan puts you through psycho hell in the movie.
Christian Bale was okay. You don't really care much about him. You just wanna see more of The Joker and Harvey Dent. I didn't feel like I was watching a Batman movie in there. I felt like I was watching some very twisted shit Criminal Minds episode that happens to have Batman as the main character.
Best of all what, I like most of this movie was that from the success of the first Batman, they could have done what Disney keeps doing and make a junk sequel because they know people will still watch it. The people behind this film really took the time, respected the expectations of the fans, respected the franchise and went out and made art. The Dark Knight was art. No question. Saying that this was the best 2008 summer blockbuster is really an understatement at this point. It's Best Picture of the year. My new favorite movie of all time.

RATING: 10/10

Friday, July 11, 2008

Journey To The Centre of The Earth: Review

You know.. when you have a movie that can't even get the spelling of CENTRE right in the title, you know this is going to be a shitty film.
Okay so this movies is based on the 1960 film and it's about Brendan Fraser who's this scientist guy who has had a brother disappear while on  expedition. And while going through some of his brother's old things, he comes across the book Journey To The Centre of The Earth and finds that his brother has left clues in there on how to find the place. And that is where the story development of the movie ends.
From that point on, all we get from this movie is just one big amusement park ride. We have these people riding down a mine shaft,they see some giant mushrooms and shiny birds, they start battling giant piranhas, they fight giant killer plants, they get chased by T-Rex and then the movie becomes a video game where the kid from Bridge To Terabithia starts jumping over these floating magnetic rocks like it was Super Mario.
Now you're reading this and you're thinking, "Hey asshole, you just spoiled the whole movie for me." No I didn't. There's is absolutely nothing to spoil story wise for this turd of a film. For nearly two hours all I see is Brendan Fraser, a kid and a hot chick jumping over lava and fighting weird creatures. There's no story, there's no plot, there's no character development.
Man screw Brendan Fraser! I still don't get how this big lard bucket is able to get so many roles. And he keeps getting cast in the most ridiculous roles. Now, giveth I loved him in The Mummy and he was good in Crash but in here, they're expecting us yo believe this mumbling fool is a scientist. C'mon! Ain't nobody's ever going to think Brendan Fraser is even mentally capable enough to pass SPM. And God that guy just mumbles his lines throughout the whole goddamn show!
But there is this girl in the movie who's acting as some sort of tour guide for Brendan Fraser. Anita Briem, that's her name. She's one fine looking European lady and she almost look like a young version of Judi Dench. Really got nothing much else to say here, just let me look at her pics for awhile.
Daaaamn! I heard she's going to play Jane Seymour in The Tudors. Gheah! Some girl on girl fighting with the Boleyn's, I like it!
But as stupid as this movie is, in was in goddamn 3D and it was pretty impressive. All 3 actors were pretty much juts added props to the special effects in this film and from the get go of the first trailer, they just kept reminding us that this movie is all about the 3D and special effects. And in that area, I thought they rocked it. And because the movie moves so fast with lots of action, I found myself enjoying it somewhat of a bit.
Journey To The Centre of The Earth is one of those stupid blockbusters for kids. And if you do see it, see it in 3D.

RATING: 5/10

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