Thursday, November 27, 2008

Quarantine: Review

Someone quarantine this film for me. I really really don't like you John Erick Dowdle.
So Quarantine is a movie done on a hand held camera like Cloverfield. It's about this girl, Angela Vidal who's this news person that's doing a story on what it's like to be a firemen and she follows this brigade around and stuff. One night they get a call of something really weird going on this this apartment building so they go check it out and she and her cameramen follows them to. Little do they know that there's an infection going on in this building that turns people into zombies and they are now trapped in the building.
Now this movie is based on a Spanish horror film called [REC] and what's really disappointing to me is that I liked [REC] a lot and this was such a ripoff,like in a way that every single frame in Quarantine is exactly the same as [REC].
You may watch this and see some stuff that looks really cool, but don't be fooled, everything in this was stolen from [REC]and done in the exact same way..only in English. Here's a better idea, why don't you just watch [REC} and put on the subtitles. Problem solved. There wasn't anything done in here that was remotely different or improved on and I give the filmmakers a big slap for that.
We have Jennifer Carpenter in this playing Angela Vidal. Now I like Jenifer Carpenter. I saw her in The Exorcism of Emily Rose and I would dare say I felt she deserved an Oscar nomination for that. But in this movie she kind of annoyed the hell out of me. We get her character practically screaming and panicking through most of the film to the point where you wish the firemen or the camera guy would just slap her.
And she is miles below the original actress in [REC], Manuela Velasco, who is not only was much cuter than Jennifer Carpenter,this chick had her boobs falling out of that tank top of hers which made my horror experience in [REC] a whole lot tolerable. Can't wait to see her again when [REC] 2 comes out.
But the thing I think Quarantine did better than [REC] was getting the audience into this feeling of claustrophobia being trapped in this apartment building. The place is a whole lot darker and scarier and the zombies in this are much frightening than the one's in [REC]
I also like the use of police in Quarantine where they are saying that they are here to help the people trapped in this building but are actually trying to kill them to. So it makes this feeling of being trapped in the building much worse knowing that you are also a target if you escape.
And what the hell is wrong with that apartment building they were in. Who in their right mind would live in a place like this.I mean like, this building was so run down and there were wires sticking out the place and floorboards everywhere and there didn't seem to be a single light bulb in this building that works. Who is that stupid to live in a shit hole like that??
I wished they would have done something fresh with this remake, I did like some parts in this but nothing in here can match the pure awesomeness of [REC]

RATING:4/10

Monday, November 24, 2008

MOVIE UPDATES: Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li

I almost forgot about it until I saw Ki Jun's blog and found out that the new Street Fighter movie starring the oh so gorgeous Kristen Kreuk already has a few shots up. So I looked into it some more and I found a few that he didn't put up. So I'm just gonna show you all the stuff that I found.
Kristen looks gorgeous here

Moon Bloodgood from Pathfinder playing Maya

Robin Shou from Death Race as Gen

Here's the supposed theatrical poster. I dunno la.. but I think it looks really fake.
So I found the real one....

Tadaaaaa


These have nothing to do with the movie, I just like looking at them... Sigh....

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Zack and Miri Make A Porno: Review

How can a movie starring Elizabeth Banks and has the word porno in the title be so bad?
The movie is about Zack and Miri who are roommates and they are really poor. The are barely making enough to pay the rent and utility bills plus Zack is spending all their money in buying sex toys. One day Zack gets an idea to make money fast..by making porn!
The premise of the film sounds interesting and who wouldn't wanna see a comedy where Seth Rogen screws Elizabeth Banks? The problem with this film is that it's not that funny nor is the writing any good either. Zack and Miri is such a ripoff of previous Judd Apatow films. Shy of it's few saving graces and massive amounts of naked women, the film is embarrassingly predictable and dumb.
But then you look and the credits and you find out who the director is. Kevin Smith, the man who did Jersey Girls. This guy is one of the most unoriginal directors I have ever seen. I can literally imagine this guy thinking to himself, "Who makes successful movies these days? Oh, I know.. Judd Apatow! Great now I'm gonna copy him and I'll get a billion dollars." And I'm getting really creeped out with his Star Wars fetish. It's like every every movie he makes must have a Star Wars reference in there. Jeez grow up fatty.
This is like watching porn but not being able to see the sex. You come in here expecting to get this, this, this and this but the movie blows so hard that it's hard to find anything to like about it. ow to be fair there are some parts in here that are quite funny but it feels like stuff that were borrowed out of Apatow movies. And the ones that weren't were more or less shit jokes.
But what is great were the actors. There is a cameo by Brandon Routh and Justin Long which was the funniest thing ever. And the chemistry between the two leads, Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. The two could be brother and sister for all I know. Their scenes work great together, their really funny screwing with each other and Elizabeth Banks is hella hot!

And Katie Morgan's in this. Whoa! I've seen some of her porn videos before and she's hella hot! Also the strippers in the movie were amazingly sexy. One of them even looked like Megan Fox which kinda made me go "Ooohhh."
If you're gonna watch Zack and Miri.. fast forward to the sex parts or better yet, just go on redtube and watch some nice videos.

RATING: 4/10

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Quantum of Solace: Review

[Insert James Bond theme song here] Quantum of Solace baby! Damn I loved this movie!
So the film picks up 5 minutes after the events of Casino Royale. James Bond is on a blood mission to find out who was behind the death and betrayal of his love Vesper Lynn. And at the same time, Bond has to deal with another villain, Dominic Green but investigating him opened up a terrifying truth that will shock MI6 to it's core. 
Quantum of Solace is unlike any other Bond film we've had in a sense that it is a true sequel. We stay with the character Bond as he is developing, we stay to watch how the story surrounding the betrayal of the last film is carrying out. This isn't the Bond series anymore where the story is blocked into one movie alone. We finally have a continuation to James Bond.
I'm not to crazy over the action sequences,  I felt for the most part of it they were badly shot. Like the car chase scene in the beginning, the director pulled the shot to close I couldn't really see anything. But the times when they got the action scenes right like the chase in Spain, I thought that was dead on.
I didn't care too much for the Bond girl in this film, I thought she was really uninteresting. But then again, she had a tough act to follow after Eva Green in Casino Royale who is with no contest the best Bond girl in the history of the franchise. Olga Kurylenko is certainly one of the more action fighting Bond girls like Michelle Yeoh but she's got nothing on Eva Green.
One thing I wanna point out about Olga Kurylenko. She has been in 3 movies now where she is hella hella hot and the guy doesn't want to have sex with her. In Hitman, she was stark ass naked and the guy still resisted her. In Max Payne, Mark Wahlberg does the same thing. Hun if even James Bond don't wanna bang you.. there must be something seriously wrong. You sure you don't have a penis under there?
This is my favorite Bond movie because of two things. One is the fact that we finally see some development between the characters of Bond and M. We see M in this film becoming more of a mother figure to Bond and finally breaking the whole image of M being a hard woman. And Judi Dench is fantastic in the movie btw.
The second thing is that for the first time, we finally have a great Bond villain in the form of Quantum, a terrorist organization that apparently has many influences in many places which MI6 never knew about and is now posing as a big threat to national security. There's almost a Kaiser Soze feel to the whole mystic of Quantum being this big organization that no one can track down and I'm dying to see how this plays out in future Bond movies.
Daniel Craig is great as Bond. He finally delivers Bond as being a human character unlike the other Bonds from the previous movie. James Bond finally has a story to tell and he is finally more than a man with cool gadgets and nice suits. I liked him more in Casino Royale though, but he's still pretty darn good here.
The film had decent action and a great build up for me to want to see the next Bond film. I love where this franchise is going and I can't wait for the next one.

RATING: 7/10

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