Sunday, June 27, 2010

Marmaduke: Review

Marmaduke! Or.... Some Kind Of Wonderful without Lea Thompson and lotso lotso CG dogs.
 So I'm lining up at the cinema to buy my ticket right, and the second I told the ticket guy, I wanna see Marmaduke.. He gave me that kind of look that I haven't seen since I was in high school. Let me tell you something, there were about 7 people in the theater and with the exception of me, the rest were all little children. I felt like a fucking pedophile in there. I had to keep telling myself, "This is for the review.. this is for the review..."
So Marmaduke is about an unnaturally large dog who moves with his human family to a new neighborhood and has to fit in the new high school there, i.e the playground. There he gets beat up by the school bully who happens to be dating the girl he likes and after an hour of lameness, he realizes that it's his best friend that he's really in love with all along.
Owen Wilson is the voice for Marmaduke and he does do a nice job in this but dude.. you totally picked the wrong script to make a comeback on after your attempted suicide. I wouldn't be surprised if Owen Wilson tries to kill himself again after watching this piece of shit.
This show hits every bottom rung of comedy there is. I have officially lost all the respect I used to have for William H. Macy. At one point in his life, this man was in movies like Fargo, Magnolia and The Cooler. Now, he's getting knocked over and being kicked in the balls by CG animated dogs for brainless kids to laugh at. Now I know where broken actors go to die.
Marmaduke is something that should have gone straight to DVD release. There is absolutely nothing that could draw in people to watch this other than the fact that there are a lot of celebrity voice actors in this, who don't even do a good job.And I also get the feeling that 20th Century Fox also didn't give a shit about this movie, otherwise they wouldn't have dumped it on the same weekend Toy Story 3 was released.
There is absolutely nothing in this film that can make me like it. My brain was literally telling my hands to dig their nails into the seat to prevent the rest of my body from running out of the theater on pure instinct. I just kept saying, "You paid RM11 for this.. you paid RM11 for this.. it's going to be over soon. You can do this Nicholas, just a few more minutes and then you can go.. Just hang in there buddy." But then it got to the ending and I swear my brain died. Three words. CGI. Dogs. Breakdancing.
But I do understand that this movie was intended for children. Clearly Marmaduke was not made to entertain anyone above the age of 7. But for God all the parents out there.. Do you really want your children to watch this and grow up mentally retarded?

 RATING: 0/10

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